are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
