Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
