I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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