I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
