He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
