Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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