Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
