I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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