dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
