Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
