i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
