Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
