You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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