There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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