i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you had me at cake vodka
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
