Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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