My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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