its not stalking. its research.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
