I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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