Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
