I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
