I think im going to throw up on grandma
nutella sex= disaster
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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