3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
