I wish I could teleport
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
