she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
