dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
