there's paper in my vomit.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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