This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
