I seem to have left my pride at pride
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
