Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
