we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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