i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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