We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
