i need an iv and a liver transplant
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
