i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he puts the penis in happiness.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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