So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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