dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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