Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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