Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
