OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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