Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
