I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
