i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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