when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
