Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
