I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
