apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
