I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
