Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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