It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
